


[Sirius] Black Friday

by punkdavekat



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 19:53:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkdavekat/pseuds/punkdavekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and Remus travel the shoppes on Black Friday, meeting mischief and a slew of other Londoners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	[Sirius] Black Friday

**Author's Note:**

> Wolfstar and Black Friday, with Good Omens and Sherlock incorporated. Because fuck logic, that's why. "Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that we need a Black Friday au where Remus tries to stop Sirius from killing anyone who gets the stuff he wants or how they frantically apparate from one store to another or how Sirius simply doesnt understand why he cant just stun everyone."

The first shop they reach is rather empty. Of course Remus doesn't let himself be lulled into a false sense of security. Nothing is sacred around Sirius Black, not even the portrait of the Hogwarts Headmasters. In sixth year a drunk Sirius Black had tried to deface the portraits while they were sleeping with Lily Evans' borrowed lipstick. It didn't end well for him.

He's searching, hoping, almost praying that Black Friday will not become Sirius Black's Friday. Any day with Sirius is a day destined for insanity, but Sirius Black's Friday will inevitably end in pain. Or arson. Murder, even, because if there's one thing worse than determined Sirius Black, it's bargain-shopping Sirius Black. For a rich boy, Sirius can as sure as hell hunt for a bargain. Maybe it's the dog in him, sniffing out good deals and adorable fashions for reasonably low prices. (It's more likely that Sirius learned to be frugal when he was hom- going to James' after he was kicked out. Even with his motorbike, it had taken him a week.)

The first shop is empty for a reason, apparently. Browsing the wares, dusty old volumes and tomes that are well past overpriced. Not even Remus can find something worth its price. Finally, finally, he found a book he'd never even heard of, written by some witch. Sirus almost has to drag Remus away from the shopkeep, a very English, rather pudgy, and gayer-than-a-maypole man with a slightly formidable companion dressed in dark colours, because, well… the bastard wouldn't let him buy any books!  
Still, Remus is a gentleman and leaves peacefully. (Even if he wants to snarl and sit among the books for hours.) The last words be hears before apparating are the shopkeep's (attractive and tan, not that Remus was looking. Very similar to Sirius, to be honest.) companion exclaiming, "Angel," in an amused manner.

The next shop they arrive at is much more lively, if by 'lively' you mean 'stark-ravingly mad.' It seems to be a muggle apothecary, although Remus can't fathom why muggles would even need an apothecary. The building is old and smells of spices. The shop owner is an old ethnic man with one blind eye that peirces Remus' very soul.  
As soon as Remus and Sirius enter, Sirius goes off running. Remus contemplates whether to give chase or to wait by the door, but someone catches his eye. It's a small blonde man, rather short but slightly tanned. He leans heavily on his right leg, arms crossed over his chest. "Damn it, Sherlock," Remus hears him mutter. "The one time you'll come to the shoppes with me and you run off." He catches the blonde man's eye and gets a tight smile and a nod. He looks to be a great deal older than Remus. But then again, Remus looks a great deal older than he actually is. Remus is glad to see he's not the only one in this situation.

They stand in an awkward silence for what feels like five minutes before there's a commotion from the back. Remus takes off running in the direction of the disturbance, the blonde man just behind. "He just collapsed! I swear," comes Sirius' voice from ahead. Remus arrives to the scene; a large, curly-haired man in a coat and scarf lies, surrounded by a small group of onlookers, on the floor. Sirius' hand seems a bit too close to the wand pocket in his jacket. A stunner, most likely, and Remus' blood boils.  
"Sherlock!" comes a voice from behind him, and the blonde man runs ahead of him. He pushes someone out of his way and Remus takes the opportunity of distraction to grab Sirius' arm and drag him away, despite his ever-growing struggles.

They reach the mens' restroom and enter.

"What the bloody Hell was that about, Remus?!"

"You can't just stun a muggle, Sirius! What the hell could he have possibly done to you," Remus asks fervently.

"Sage," Sirius mutters, eyes downcast.

"What?"

"There was an entire bundle of uncrushed sage just waiting for me, Remus!"

Remus sighs, grabs Sirius, and apparates to their apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is the first thing I've posted on this site don't hate me (◠‿◠✿)
> 
> Edit: It's 2015 and I am so embarrassed.


End file.
